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You are here: Home / Obedience / Obedient and Bitter OR Obedient and Choosing to Trust?

Obedient and Bitter OR Obedient and Choosing to Trust?

I had a different post planned for today but while I was listening to the message at The Stirring yesterday, I heard the Lord tell me to share this post instead. The reason I feel like it’s important to share this post, after finishing up the Hearing from God series, is because of something our pastor said yesterday. He was talking about the prophetic and how we speak the words of the Lord out of an overflow of our hearts knowing Him. People in the world need to hear the things God has put inside of us but often times we don’t share, either because of fear, bitterness, or because there’s too much noise in our lives and we aren’t paying attention to what God is doing around us.

The connection for me was made when I thought about this story I’m sharing today. I wrote this post months ago but I wasn’t sure when I’d end up sharing it but God told me to share it today because it’s this story, this moment in my life a few years ago, that snapped me out of a dark place and allowed me to hear God’s voice again, to see what He was doing all around me. It is this story that brought me out of a dark place and because of the words from my friend, I’m able to be here today, sharing out of the overflow of what God has put inside of me. Just as my neighbor spoke truth to me, I want to be here to speak truth to you, and because of his obedience, now I can be.

I hope you enjoy this story and I hope it speaks to your heart, and challenges you the way it challenged me, and changed my life. My hope and desire for you is that it would challenge you and allow you to look at the things in your life through God’s eyes, that you would be able to hear His voice and see how He is moving in your life, even when it feels like He has abandoned you.

***

I know I wrote the series Walking in Obedience (which if you haven’t read, you really should) but I wanted to rewind a couple years and share how my journey, and passion, for obedience got started.

A couple years ago, when things got really hard with our oldest daughter, my neighbor (the one that lives in the English Tudor – read that story HERE) put on a night of encouragement for us. The night was absolutely transformational for us, but the biggest thing I got was a word I got from her husband. I don’t think he meant the word to be convicting, but God used it to grab my heart and shift my focus back to Him.

Here’s my paraphrased version of what he said,

I’m reminded of the story of Jonah. God asked Jonah to go speak to the people of Nineveh, which he didn’t want to do. In the end, after he ended up being obedient, he was angry and bitter about it.

You’ve already been obedient to the Lord but you have a choice, do you want to end up being bitter about it, or do you want to choose joy, and see God’s hand at work, even though it’s not what you thought it would look like?”

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile now, then you know how important obedience is to me. God calls us to be obedient to Him no matter what happens, and I will guarantee that 99% of the time it’s not going to look the way we thought it would, or should.

Jonah did an incredible thing, he warned a city and saved over 120,000 lives but He was so mad about it.

This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. So he complained to the Lord about it: ‘Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.'” Jonah 4:1-3

What’s even sadder is the book ends with Jonah arguing with the Lord so we don’t know if he ever found Peace. Here he had done a great act for the Lord but his story ends with him throwing a temper tantrum at the Lord.

I’ve had a lot of conversations with the Lord about how I’m mad, and how I feel like it would be nice if every once in awhile people would just get what’s coming to them, but that’s not how God works.

I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.” Jonah 4:2

As I’ve said before, we shouldn’t be upset about the way the present looks because we don’t see the whole picture, the way God does.

And seriously, do I really want what I’ve deserved countless times?

We have a choice – be obedient, or take the easy way out. If we choose obedience we have another choice to make – trust the Lord that He knows what He’s doing, or be bitter and angry because it didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to.

Which will you choose?

I can tell you that up until our night of encouragement, I was pretty bitter and angry with the Lord. I was mad that He was allowing us to experience such pain and that the pain was taking over. I was mad that He had asked us to adopt, knowing how much suffering it was going to bring us – I thought He loved me, why would He do that to me?

I was so bitter which is why, when I heard the word about Jonah, I was so convicted.

After our night of encouragement I decided to switch my “why me?” questions to, “what are you doing here, Lord?”. To look at each situation with a different perspective, to try to understand the bigger picture.

This perspective shift changed my life.

When we say "yes" to obedience, we do what God asks us to do, but then we have to turn around and give it right back to Him, and trust Him with the outcome. If we try to hold onto it, and control the outcome, that's when we start to get mad that it doesn't look the way we want it to. If we give it back to the Lord and trust Him with the outcome then we don't have to carry the burden, because it's not ours to carry. | Faith-Fullness.net

By choosing to trust the Lord, instead of being bitter and angry with Him, it allowed me to rise above the suffering.

Things with our situation didn’t get better, in fact they only got harder, but I didn’t carry the pain anymore. God showed me that when we say “yes” to obedience, we do what He asks us to do, but then we have to turn around and give it right back to Him, and trust Him with the outcome. If we try to hold onto it, and control the outcome, that’s when we start to get mad that it doesn’t look the way we want it to.

If we give it back to the Lord and trust Him with the outcome then we don’t have to carry the burden, because it’s not ours to carry.

I can tell you from experience, it’s not always easy, in fact sometimes it’s really hard. But I can also tell you from experience that when we trust the Lord, He begins to entrust with even more. I 100% guarantee you that if I hadn’t had an attitude change on that night years ago,  I wouldn’t be here today, writing this blog. My husband and I chose to rise above the pain, trust God with what He called us to, and because of that He has blessed us, and trusted us with so much.

I am so incredibly thankful, and forever indebted to my neighbor for his words.

Where are you at in your walk with the Lord? Are you bitter and angry like Jonah, and like I was, or have you chosen to trust the Lord, even though you don’t understand, and your situation looks different than you think it should?

Faith-Fullness.net

If you missed it, CLICK HERE to check out my 6 part series on Walking in Obedience. If you missed my 5 part series on Hearing from God, you can find it HERE.

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Filed Under: Adoption, Obedience 6 Comments

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Comments

  1. Bethany says

    March 27, 2017 at 8:57 am

    Wow, thank you for sharing this. I’ve been dealing with my own bitterness and anger.
    I’ve got to the point of actually facing it and God has healed a lot of it already.
    It is really helpful to know others in my life have already walked through and hat valley.

    Reply
    • Anna says

      March 27, 2017 at 8:59 am

      I’m glad the Lord has already walked you through a lot of healing but let me know if you ever want to talk. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Jim says

    March 28, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    Yes Anna…so good!
    The work to switch up that question “Why me??!” too “What are YOU doing here?” is so important! I think it is really critical to growing spiritually or stalling out. For me…when I stay in the “Why me?” phase I get stuck and self pity sets in. One time God asked me if I was “done with the pity party” that I had been throwing…no one was attending that party! lol!
    Good word here Anna…thanks for expressing it so wonderfully and giving it away!
    Jim

    Reply
    • Anna says

      March 29, 2017 at 8:19 am

      Haha, I love that God asked you that. 🙂 Thank you.

      Reply
  3. Linda Miller says

    March 30, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    Lots of “life” had happened to me, as you know. I know how it can set me on a wrong road, Thankfully, God is always there to remind me that I am not alone and I have a very loving, forgiving God in my heart and mind. It’s hard when I start to read one of your blogs with “Obedient” in the title. It sets me on the “why” Lord? I was obedient, following your Word when “life” hit me like a boulder. But I am again reminded that if I didn’t have God in my life, heart, the things that happen in “life” would still happened and then where would I be. I would be bitter, angry, depressed and sad all the time. But I do have God in my life and he comforts me, tells me the truth and leads me to the “green pastures” in the Bible where I can find food, water and rest. Obedience keeps me knowing God is with me always.

    Reply
    • Anna says

      March 30, 2017 at 3:20 pm

      Wow, Linda, that is SO good, and such a great perspective. Whether we have God or not, “life” does happen because we live in a broken world but I would rather be on this side of things with hope and truth. I think you should write a book about your story and everything God has shown you through it!!! I would definitely read it. 🙂

      Reply

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Meet Anna

Hi, I'm Anna! Wife, mother, child of God, and the founder of Faith|Fullness. The pages of this blog are filled with my journeys of faith and the adventures that saying "yes" to God have taken me on. Read More…

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So proud of our girl! A quick weekend trip to the So proud of our girl! A quick weekend trip to the Reno T&T gymnastics competition, resulted in 2 medals for Malea!! A bronze in Tumble Track and a silver in Double Mini. 
We also discovered Emilia has mad skills at Fuze ball, and she scooped Matt. 🤣 
We are proud parents, Malea now has 2 competitions under her belt, and 4 metals to show for it! 👏🏻 👊🏻👏🏻
#MaleaElizabeth
I never post political stuff but Zelensky's speech I never post political stuff but Zelensky's speech this morning, broke my heart. I don't understand how we are not doing something to help these people out. I know if we had someone bombing our country, we would demand help from others, how can we just sit back and watch this happens. My heart is breaking for President Zelensky and the burden he's carrying right now. If you haven't watched the speech from this morning, please take the time to watch it, it's powerful, and heartbreaking. 

"Today my age stopped when the hearts of more than 100 children stopped beating. I see no sense in life, if it means it cannot stop the deaths." - Zelensky
Day 8 - Our last day. 😢 After packing we headed Day 8 - Our last day. 😢 After packing we headed back to Makena beach to take in our last waves, and Malea found some big ones. 
🌊
After a couple hours we said our goodbyes to the waves (and the chickens at the beach) and as we walked away I wondered if it would be another 20 years until I get to be here, and how much life has happened since I had been there last. It really is amazing how time flies. 
🌊
Next we went back into Kihei for lunch, some last minute shopping, and a must-stop, for me, Cones on Kihei, where my cousin worked when we lived here. The smell of the  freshly made cones took me right back, and they still had my favorite flavor!! It was fun to get to share this delicious treat with the girls. 
🌊
Then it was back to the condo to get cleaned up and ready to leave. I am so grateful for our time here, the hours at the beach, the beautiful meals, and watching how much the girls loved so many of the things I love about this island. I hope we get to come back but even if we don’t, my heart is full and I am thankful I got to return and relive/revisit so many things from, what feels like, a lifetime ago. Goodbye Maui! 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 7 - Our last full day was probably one of my f Day 7 - Our last full day was probably one of my favorites with a hike out in the lava fields, then snorkeling with Malea, and views of some bright yellow fish before we left. 
🐠
Then we headed into town and had the best sandwiches at @808deli. After lunch the girls were exhausted so we dropped them off and Matt and I walked the beach path in Wailea. We saw lots of whales jumping and even some turtles in the reef. We walked the beach and took in all the beautiful views of this wonderful island. 
🌊 
Next we picked up the girls and headed to Makena beach for some more beach time. The girls played in the waves until we had to pull them from them, so we could go get ready for our luau. 
🌊
We hit the road to Lahaina and headed to the @oldlahainaluau. This was such a good luau, ran like a well oiled machine with stellar service and beautiful dancing, sunsets and the best mocktails of the trip (the girls were in Heaven). 
🌊
Trying not to think about leaving tomorrow, but taking in all the stars and crashing waves, while I still can. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 6 - Lots of birthday celebration! Malea turned Day 6 - Lots of birthday celebration! Malea turned 13 and we celebrated with a little party in the morning, then headed to the waves. 
🥳
We went back to the cove, where the girls surfed for hours and caught lots of waves. Then we had lunch at a beautiful, and delicious food truck park, set in a canopy of trees. 
🥳
Then it was back up the condo for some out of the sun rest time, and then, of course, we finished out the day at Makena beach, where the girls played in the waves until we had to leave to get ready for dinner. 
🥳
We celebrated in Lahaina with ribs, for my rib girl, and then of course, Hula Pie. 😋 
🥳
It was the best way to celebrate our baby girl turning 13, and a birthday I’m sure she will always remember. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Happy 13th birthday to one of my most favorite peo Happy 13th birthday to one of my most favorite people ever. Malea, since the day you were born you have been such a blessing. You love big, you love unconditionally, you live large and you are an over-comer. 
💜
I have learned so much from you, you make me a better person, and I can’t wait to see what this next year has in store for you! Wuv you baby girl!!! 
#MaleaElizabeth
Day 5 - Started the morning with the girls surfing Day 5 - Started the morning with the girls surfing the cove, where I learned to surf. There were tons of other people there taking lessons but the girls had a blast, and caught tons of waves. Malea is officially hooked on surfing. Yay!! 🏄‍♀️ 
🌊
After hours of surfing we headed back to the house for some down time, and then back to Makena Beach to close out the day playing in the waves, and drinking margaritas to celebrate margarita day. 
🌊
We enjoyed a beautiful sunset, and an incredible meal at Hotel Wailea then headed home and were surprised by fireworks! What a perfect way to spend Malea’s birthday eve. 
🌊
Matt and I decorated before bed and then I laid in bed thinking about where I was 12 years ago and how the best gift I’ve ever received came at 11:29pm the next evening. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 4 - Started the day with worship, and our frie Day 4 - Started the day with worship, and our friend’s baptism, at the beach, which was followed by celebration, even by the whales. 
🌊
After the baptisms we picked up surfboards and headed to the waves. It was low tide, so the waves were small, but the girls had a blast and we even got to see more whales.
🌊
Then we headed back to Makena Beach, for some more wave time and found so many chickens! 🐓 8 roosters to be exact ( Malea counted them). 
🌊
Next headed home, and enjoyed wine on the patio, which has been Matt and my afternoon tradition, since we got here. 
🌊
After getting ready for dinner, we did something we used to do, almost every night when we lived here, and watched the sunset from the rock wall, in Kihei across from where we lived. It was so fun getting to experience the magic of the sun setting over the Pacific coast, with my family. 
🌊
After dinner we met up with our friends to talk about the baptism and catch up since we haven’t hung out in awhile. We ended up back at our place, talking late into the night. I am so grateful for how much the Lord has done in all of our lives since we met a few years ago. 
🌊
Tomorrow more surfing and more sun. Maui perfection. 
#MaleaElizabeth @mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer
Day 3 - Started with a 3.4 mile run, with @mmosele Day 3 - Started with a 3.4 mile run, with @mmoseley15, and lots of beautiful views. 
🌊
It was too windy to surf today so instead we headed to Lahaina for lunch (a very messy lunch for my little rib lover) and some shopping.  We scouted out beaches on the way home, and stopped for some fresh fruit at the roadside stand. 
🌊 
Everyone was exhausted but we needed some beach time so we finished up the day with the waves at Wailea beach and another beautiful sunset. 
🌊
Excited because tomorrow we finally surf! 🏄‍♀️ 
#MaleaElizabeth @emilia_boehmer
Day 2- my favorite beach, Makena beach. We used to Day 2- my favorite beach, Makena beach. We used to spend hours, and days here, so it was a dream come true to get to spend hours in the waves and on the beach with Matt and Malea yesterday. It’s as beautiful as I remember it and I was so thankful to be back. 
🌊
After hours of beach time it was a food truck lunch, and time to head into Kihei, my old stomping grounds. We took the girls to the open market where they shopped and shopped, then we ended with shaved ice. 
🌊
The day ended with another beautiful sunset and dinner at MonkeyPod Kitchen, with the best Mai Tais we’ve had and Malea trying to convince Emilia to let her teach her how to cube. 🤣
🌊
Tomorrow we surf. 🤗 🏄‍♀️ 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 1 (yesterday)- A few thankful tears were shed Day 1 (yesterday)- A few thankful tears were shed when I finally got to sit down in my plane seat, and a huge sigh of relief that we were finally on our way. 
🌊 
It has been 19 years since I’ve been to Maui and I expected so many changes, which some of it has, but so much is also the same, including places we worked and a few favorite spots. 
🌊
But the best part was getting to be here with my family—watch the girls disappear to find the pool, and the beach, and the smiles on their faces as the realization sunk in that we were actually here!! 
🌊
Today I am thank for @mmoseley15 bringing me back here, beautiful sunsets, the Maui air, and upcoming beach time with my family! 
#MaleaElizabeth @mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer
Not exactly how I planned to spend my day. 😵‍ Not exactly how I planned to spend my day. 😵‍💫 Thankful for the team at Prestige for sewing the top of my thumb back on. Luckily none of it ended up in the soup. 😬🤣
Saying goodbye (for now), last night, to these bea Saying goodbye (for now), last night, to these beautiful people, was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. The neighbors who showed up with brownies the first time we met them, who became friends, who quickly turned into family—secondary parents to Matt and I,  and grandparents to Malea. 
💛
I have grieved and cried whenever I think about them leaving, for weeks, because I don’t know what it will be like without them. They have always been there for us, supported us, asked us how we are doing, even on our darkest days, and they have loved us and cheered us on, encouraged us to keep going because it will all be worth it in the end. 
💛
I will never hear the end of how terrible it was we decided to move to Palo Cedro and “abandon them”, but that didn’t discourage them from showing up with homemade birthday goodies and driving “all the way to the other side of the river” to stop by and see what we’ve been up to, and encourage us with how well we are living out our dream here on our farmstead. 
💛
I am honored they chose to spend their last night with us (even though technically we were 2nd choice 😉) but it was exactly what I needed. Bev, of course brought gifts that spoke to our hearts, and we reminisced, laughed and I think everyone cried at some point. 
💛
Dear friends I am excited for your new adventure, I can’t wait to hear where we need to go next, I can’t wait to “visit” Europe through your pictures, but please don’t forget to come home, you will be missed!!! 💛💛💛
We worked hard this weekend. 💪🏻 Our amazing We worked hard this weekend. 💪🏻 Our amazing house church showed up and helped us run all the electrical in the back garage—can lights, outlets, fans, exterior lights, etc! We finished so quickly that one couple decided to stay and help us frame out the storage room. 👏🏻
Today Matt and I added the door and a few other things, so now the room is ready for sheetrock! 👊🏻 A weekend of hard work and it ended with a beautiful sunset. Game room should be done in the next couple of months. 🙌🏻
#weekendwarriors #diy
Such a fun weekend away to Mt. Shasta, to celebrat Such a fun weekend away to Mt. Shasta, to celebrate Matt’s birthday. 
I am thankful for the beautiful place we live, friends who are as ridiculous as we are, amazing food, hilarious games, and most importantly my husband—who is definitely with celebrating. 
@mmoseley15 @kah_rhis_10
So this happened. 🏦 I still can’t even beli So this happened. 
🏦 
I still can’t even believe it. I am so thankful to finally be able to talk about this with people, because I am so proud of Matt! 
🏦 
When I first met Matt he told me his dream was to be the president of a bank someday, and here we are, in 6 months he will be. I am so proud of how hard he has worked to get to this place, never taking the easy way, always taking the strategic path, even if it meant taking less pay, a lower title, or doing the work of multiple people to make sure something got done well. 
🏦 
This is a dream come true, a promise of the Lord fulfilled, and I can’t wait to see what this next season holds for us. 
Congratulations Matt, you deserve this, and thank you Jeff, for paving the way, and being such an incredible boss, leader, and mentor for Matt. 
#FaithandFullness #faithfulness
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