During worship yesterday morning I was thinking about all the things that have been swirling around in my mind over the last few months. I’ve received so many words about writing a book, speaking in front of large crowds, etc. but I have no idea what any of that will look like, or when it will actually happen. I have faith that God has a plan, and that He’s guiding me in the direction I need to go, but what I’ve discovered over the last month is that I’ve grown discontent and frustrated with where I’m at, because I don’t know how it’s all going to play out.
Do you ever get like that? You know God is calling you to something great but it gets frustrating that you’re not there, so you become discontent with where you are.
What God spoke to me during worship is that I need to just be. Be in present in the present. Enjoy where He has me now.
Then I started thinking about where I was a year ago and how God has done so much over the last year, that I have no reason to be frustrated with Him, if anything I should be incredibly thankful!
In our driven culture we often forget to stop and be thankful for where we’re at, and what we already have, because we’re always wanting more, something greater.
I know God is always moving us toward His greater purpose but I also know that sometimes He wants us to stop and remember what He has already done, and mark those time in our lives, similar to how Jacob placed the stones to remember God’s promise, at Bethel (Genesis 28:16-19).
As I’ve continued to read through the Passion Translation of the Psalms, the Lord has been highlighting verses like Psalm 131:1b-3 to me –
I’m content to not pursue matters that are over my head – such as your complex mysteries and wonders – that I’m not yet ready to understand. I am humbled and quieted in your presence. Like a contented child that rests on its mother’s lap, I’m your resting child and my soul is content in you. O people of God, your time has come to quietly trust, waiting upon the Lord now and forever.”
And I’ve felt Him asking me, “If you never write a book, or speak from a stage, if you never have more than you already have, will you be content?”. At first I was honestly a little annoyed because I think it would be really hard to never move past where I’m at, knowing God has spoken so many words over my life about things greater than where I’m at now. And it would be hard to watch others around me fulfill their destinies, while I never move past my current state.
But then I was convicted because God has done so much in my life, how could I ask for more? He has healed me from the depths of despair and torment, He has brought me through seasons I didn’t think I would survive, He has blessed me with a beautiful family, He provides for us daily, what more do I need?
Do I need greatness because my friends have it? Do I need more money because others have more money? Do I need a better job because my peer has a better job? Do I need a bigger house and a better car because that’s what our culture says is important?
No, of course not!
When it all comes down to it, what I need is contentment.
I need to look back at the “stones” in my life and remember all the incredible things God has already done and be thankful for those things!
Maybe someday I’ll speak from a stage, but maybe my greatest stage will be my roll as a mom and teaching my kids about the Lord. Maybe someday I’ll write a book, or maybe this is my “book” and you are the only readers I’ll ever reach.
I’m honestly struggling to give it all to the Lord, but I’m working on it because I want to live a life of contentment and gratitude. I don’t want to live my life always wanting more and being dissatisfied because I’m not where I think I should be, or where others are at. I want to be continually thankful for each moment and each blessing the Lord gives me.
I want you to ask yourself – Am I content with where I’m at, or am I dissatisfied and taking matters into my own hands? Am I trusting the Lord and thankful for what He’s already given me, or have I lost perspective and I’m continually wanting more because those around me have more?
I don’t know about you but I want to be present in the present and thankful for what I have, open to what God might do, but content with where I am.