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You are here: Home / Identity / A Story of Deliverance – How I was Freed from Bondage

A Story of Deliverance – How I was Freed from Bondage

I’ve never actually written out the story of my deliverance. I’ve told the story countless times but the thought of putting in writing is exciting and a little nerve wracking all at the same time. Today I’m going to put it all out there. This is the story of who I was and how I got free from the bondage of the enemy, to become who God created me to be.

The enemy comes to “steal, kill and destroy” but the Lord comes to save, redeem and restore.

Almost eight years ago I was in a very dark place. I was coming out of the pit of postpartum depression (you can read that story HERE) but I was still very tormented. I was tormented from a life of depression, insecurity and countless other things.

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about my upbringing, but I’ll give you the short version. I had a pretty happy childhood until I was 10, at which time my parents got divorced and everything changed. My parents tried to make it “easy on us” but anyone with divorced parents knows, nothing about a divorce is easy on a kid.

Because of countless issues with my parents – which I won’t go into to protect their privacy – I began struggling. I started believing the lie that “I wasn’t enough”, which lead to insecurity and lots of other issues.

This is the story of my deliverance and how I got free from the bondage of the enemy. The enemy comes to "steal, kill and destroy" but the Lord comes to save, redeem and restore us. | Faith-Fullness.net

I, unknowingly, allowed depression to come into my life and take over my thought processes. Everything was filtered through a spirit of depression (I know that now but of course I didn’t recognize it at the time), including my identity.

Let me tell you, insecurity and depression are a dangerous mix. When you don’t feel like you’re valued and you hear everything through a filter of depression, it leads you to the spirit of suicide. For years I struggled with suicidal thoughts, allowing the spirit of suicide to tempt me and flirt with the appeal of just checking out and not having to deal with life anymore.

From about 11 years old, until about 20, I was slowly slipping away. I wanted so badly to just feel normal, and to not struggle with all these issues (and more) so in an attempt to be “normal” I started controlling everything around me. I felt that if I could control what was going on around me then it would make me feel better. For the most part it worked, although it made me not always fun to be around, but in my mind, if I was in control and could piss off those around me, then they couldn’t hurt me. Obviously it’s completely flawed logic but it’s what got me through so many painful years – grasping for control as I slowly slipped away.

This is the story of my deliverance and how I got free from the bondage of the enemy. The enemy comes to "steal, kill and destroy" but the Lord comes to save, redeem and restore us. | Faith-Fullness.net

To be honest the only thing that kept me going was the fear of God, and Hell. The countless times I pondered suicide I always got a picture in my mind of me standing at the gates of Heaven and the Lord telling me I couldn’t come in because I had taken a life,

my life.

When I turned 21, I made the decision to go to Bethel School of Ministry. I received so much healing and learned so much about myself during those 9 months of school, that it set me on a new path. Not a fully healed path, but a better one than I had been on. I discovered my prophetic gifting – which gave me purpose, I learned how to hear the voice of the Lord more clearly – which made it easier to not listen to the lies, but after 9+ years of damage, there was still a lot to work through.

Fast forward to 28 years old. I was happily married, I had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl, and my old enemy depression showed up.

When I started coming out of the postpartum depression I began meeting with a friend of mine who had experience in inner healing and deliverance. We met multiple times and talked through every detail of my life – my parent’s divorce, my relationships with both my parents, friends, struggles, etc.

It was eye opening to see how my parents’ decisions, choices and personalities had affected me so much. I also started to see the filters I had put up, that I viewed the world through. A lot of healing happened in those meetings and I began to pour over the prophetic words that had been spoken over me in school and slowly figure out who I was – all over again – or maybe for the first time.

In April 2009, a small group of friends and I gathered one evening to pray and finally set me free of the remaining spirits that had tormented me for so many years. We prayed for hours, and I rebuked all sorts of nasty things, but even after hours of prayer, I still didn’t feel 100% free. It was at that point I knew the Lord wanted us to play a song my friend had given me earlier in the week – I Surrender, by Kim Walker-Smith.

As the words started to wash over me I stood up and started worshiping. But when the second verse played, the Lord started speaking.

All to you, I Surrender
Everything, Every part of me.
All to you, I Surrender
All of my dreams, All of me.”

The thought of surrendering every part of me seemed scary. I had just spent hours getting free of things but I was still holding back, but what? The song continued…

I surrender, I surrender
(Cause I trust you God)
O, I surrender.
(All my hope is in you)
And I surrender.(I place all my trust)
O’ I surrender (to you God)
O’ I surrender (’cause your ways are far better than mine)
Oh I Surrender
All to you, all to you.”

And then it came. Did I really trust the Lord that His ways are “far better than mine”? My life had been turned upside down because of things He’d allowed to happen. I had needed to take control to try to get my life in order but if I really surrendered to Him, then I’d have to give up control.

No turning back, I’ve
Made up my mind.
I’m giving all of my life this time
You’re love makes it worth it.
You’re love makes it worth it all.
You’re love makes it worth it all.”

While the words of the song filled the room I fell to my face. In that moment I told the Lord,

I can’t do it anymore.
I give you control.
I give you control.
Please take control.
Take it, take control.”

As I repeated these words I cried and cried, harder than I ever had before. But when the song finally ended,

I was free.

I was an empty vessel ready to be filled back up by my loving Father, a Father who had set me free. My friends and I hung out a little longer and then I left to go home, a new person.

What I’ve learned about freedom is that it’s not easy and it will cost you your life. God sets you free but then He asks you to give your freedom back to Him, and that night I learned why.

I was almost home when I heard a knock. In my mind I looked out the door of my nice, newly cleaned-out room, and I saw control standing there. He said to me, “You need to let me back in.” I quickly replied, “No, I don’t.” And then I heard the words I’ll never forget.

Yes, you do because you don’t know who you are without me.”

He was right. I had no idea what my life was going to look like without operating out of a spirit of control, but my response back to him was,

You’re right, I don’t. But I’m willing to find out what it looks like.”

And with that he left. Of course there have been countless times he’s tried to come back and take over but that night I made the decision that I wanted to always listen to the Lord and follow His path because He knows me better than I’ll ever know myself.

It was that act of obedience, surrendering everything to the Lord (and really meaning it), that changed my entire life forever. Each “yes” to follow the Lord is another act of surrender, each time I choose obedience, instead of the “easy way” is another act of worship to the Lord. I will always say “yes” because He knows what I need more than I ever will.

My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I know the thought of getting rid of everything you’ve always known is terrifying, but I can tell you from experience that it is SO worth it! The enemy is a great deceiver and he’s very convincing, so when he tells you it’s impossible to live without that victim spirit, the spirit of fear, the spirit of depression, or the spirit of control, if feels very real – but the only reality is that he’s a liar. It might seem like he’s trying to protect you, but remember what I said at the beginning,

The enemy comes to “steal, kill and destroy” but the Lord comes to save, redeem and restore.

Allow the Lord to save you, allow Him to rescue you, because I promise you, the process of restoration is a life of freedom. Choose freedom, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

This is the story of my deliverance and how I got free from the bondage of the enemy. The enemy comes to "steal, kill and destroy" but the Lord comes to save, redeem and restore us. | Faith-Fullness.net

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Filed Under: Deliverance, Identity 15 Comments

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Comments

  1. Mimi Moseley says

    February 27, 2017 at 10:31 am

    WOW! I knew so much of this, but some is new to me. This is so real and powerful. I think all of us will be able to relate to your words. Thank you for shining a light in an area many of us have kept hidden. Once the light shines on the darkness, it no longer has the power it once did.

    Reply
    • Anna says

      February 28, 2017 at 10:12 am

      Yes, and amen to that!!!

      Reply
  2. Tara Viggers says

    February 27, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    Glory! What a beautiful story. You are a Brave One!

    Reply
    • Anna says

      February 28, 2017 at 10:11 am

      Haha, thank you, friend.

      Reply
  3. Mary says

    February 27, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Beautiful amazing story. Thank you it touched my soul
    Blessing to you

    Reply
    • Anna says

      February 28, 2017 at 10:11 am

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  4. Christi Osborne says

    February 27, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    So so good. My favorite post yet! Control is such an easy spirit to partner with for all of us women. Jesus, set us free!

    Reply
    • Anna says

      February 28, 2017 at 10:11 am

      Thank you, and YES, set women everywhere FREE!!!

      Reply
  5. Renee says

    February 28, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    This is so, so, good! It is amazing to hear what God has done as you’ve given your life, every aspect of it, to Him. I feel the battle with control when I want God to work a certain way in someone else’s life! Lord, give us freedom to let you do the work!!!

    Reply
  6. Lynette says

    February 28, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Thank you Anna for sharing this, I knew bits and pieces of your story but it was beautiful to read it as a whole. What a wonderful and amazing God we are privileged to serve. I think back to our summers in Hawaii and the woman you are now and I see His hand in your life as you have surrendered to Him. I am so thankful He loves us to much to leave us the way He finds us. He is such a Good Father; not afraid to allow pain in our lives if it is for our good. But always there for us as we walk through the valleys.

    Reply
    • Anna says

      February 28, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      Thank you so much Lynette!

      Reply
  7. Emily faulknor says

    February 28, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    So so good Anna! Thank you for this vulnerability and obedience! Through you God will heal so much brokenness in others!!

    Reply
    • Anna says

      March 1, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      Thank you, and I really hope so. 🙂

      Reply
  8. Linda Miller says

    March 1, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Thank you Anna for sharing your story. I am one of these people that need to see the 4 apples on the table and that if I take 3 away I will be left with one. You sharing your story has helped me see my life and how God has been there leading me, changing me and helping be to give it all to him. It’s not so much of see how much you or I have gone through but how much we think we know what direction we should go. Even when I think I am going in the right direction by choosing God’s plan for me, I won’t let go of the “spirit of control”. When you wrote about control standing outside the door of your mind, trying to be logical, knowing you don’t like the idea of not knowing where you are going, your response was awesome.
    That is a part of growing. I know I can trust God because he has brought me through so much, now I need to learn to walk with Him not knowing where he is going to take me. Thank you Anna again for letting God lead you to be so open, not for gain or even support, but to help others see what God can do. love you.

    Reply
    • Anna says

      March 1, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      Wow, I love this Linda! I’m so thankful that my story spoke to you and the Lord used it to show you something about yourself. That is my hope. I want people to read this and know there is so much more for them, they don’t have to settle for less like the enemy wants them to believe. The unknown really can be scary but I’d go back and choose it a thousand more times seeing where God has brought me, and how He has used it. 🙂

      Reply

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Meet Anna

Hi, I'm Anna! Wife, mother, child of God, and the founder of Faith|Fullness. The pages of this blog are filled with my journeys of faith and the adventures that saying "yes" to God have taken me on. Read More…

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Meet Anna

Hi, I'm Anna! Wife, mother, child of God, and the founder of Faith|Fullness. The pages of this blog are filled with my journeys of faith and the adventures that saying "yes" to God have taken me on. Read More…

Find me on Instagram – @anna_m_moseley

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So proud of our girl! A quick weekend trip to the So proud of our girl! A quick weekend trip to the Reno T&T gymnastics competition, resulted in 2 medals for Malea!! A bronze in Tumble Track and a silver in Double Mini. 
We also discovered Emilia has mad skills at Fuze ball, and she scooped Matt. 🤣 
We are proud parents, Malea now has 2 competitions under her belt, and 4 metals to show for it! 👏🏻 👊🏻👏🏻
#MaleaElizabeth
I never post political stuff but Zelensky's speech I never post political stuff but Zelensky's speech this morning, broke my heart. I don't understand how we are not doing something to help these people out. I know if we had someone bombing our country, we would demand help from others, how can we just sit back and watch this happens. My heart is breaking for President Zelensky and the burden he's carrying right now. If you haven't watched the speech from this morning, please take the time to watch it, it's powerful, and heartbreaking. 

"Today my age stopped when the hearts of more than 100 children stopped beating. I see no sense in life, if it means it cannot stop the deaths." - Zelensky
Day 8 - Our last day. 😢 After packing we headed Day 8 - Our last day. 😢 After packing we headed back to Makena beach to take in our last waves, and Malea found some big ones. 
🌊
After a couple hours we said our goodbyes to the waves (and the chickens at the beach) and as we walked away I wondered if it would be another 20 years until I get to be here, and how much life has happened since I had been there last. It really is amazing how time flies. 
🌊
Next we went back into Kihei for lunch, some last minute shopping, and a must-stop, for me, Cones on Kihei, where my cousin worked when we lived here. The smell of the  freshly made cones took me right back, and they still had my favorite flavor!! It was fun to get to share this delicious treat with the girls. 
🌊
Then it was back to the condo to get cleaned up and ready to leave. I am so grateful for our time here, the hours at the beach, the beautiful meals, and watching how much the girls loved so many of the things I love about this island. I hope we get to come back but even if we don’t, my heart is full and I am thankful I got to return and relive/revisit so many things from, what feels like, a lifetime ago. Goodbye Maui! 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 7 - Our last full day was probably one of my f Day 7 - Our last full day was probably one of my favorites with a hike out in the lava fields, then snorkeling with Malea, and views of some bright yellow fish before we left. 
🐠
Then we headed into town and had the best sandwiches at @808deli. After lunch the girls were exhausted so we dropped them off and Matt and I walked the beach path in Wailea. We saw lots of whales jumping and even some turtles in the reef. We walked the beach and took in all the beautiful views of this wonderful island. 
🌊 
Next we picked up the girls and headed to Makena beach for some more beach time. The girls played in the waves until we had to pull them from them, so we could go get ready for our luau. 
🌊
We hit the road to Lahaina and headed to the @oldlahainaluau. This was such a good luau, ran like a well oiled machine with stellar service and beautiful dancing, sunsets and the best mocktails of the trip (the girls were in Heaven). 
🌊
Trying not to think about leaving tomorrow, but taking in all the stars and crashing waves, while I still can. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 6 - Lots of birthday celebration! Malea turned Day 6 - Lots of birthday celebration! Malea turned 13 and we celebrated with a little party in the morning, then headed to the waves. 
🥳
We went back to the cove, where the girls surfed for hours and caught lots of waves. Then we had lunch at a beautiful, and delicious food truck park, set in a canopy of trees. 
🥳
Then it was back up the condo for some out of the sun rest time, and then, of course, we finished out the day at Makena beach, where the girls played in the waves until we had to leave to get ready for dinner. 
🥳
We celebrated in Lahaina with ribs, for my rib girl, and then of course, Hula Pie. 😋 
🥳
It was the best way to celebrate our baby girl turning 13, and a birthday I’m sure she will always remember. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Happy 13th birthday to one of my most favorite peo Happy 13th birthday to one of my most favorite people ever. Malea, since the day you were born you have been such a blessing. You love big, you love unconditionally, you live large and you are an over-comer. 
💜
I have learned so much from you, you make me a better person, and I can’t wait to see what this next year has in store for you! Wuv you baby girl!!! 
#MaleaElizabeth
Day 5 - Started the morning with the girls surfing Day 5 - Started the morning with the girls surfing the cove, where I learned to surf. There were tons of other people there taking lessons but the girls had a blast, and caught tons of waves. Malea is officially hooked on surfing. Yay!! 🏄‍♀️ 
🌊
After hours of surfing we headed back to the house for some down time, and then back to Makena Beach to close out the day playing in the waves, and drinking margaritas to celebrate margarita day. 
🌊
We enjoyed a beautiful sunset, and an incredible meal at Hotel Wailea then headed home and were surprised by fireworks! What a perfect way to spend Malea’s birthday eve. 
🌊
Matt and I decorated before bed and then I laid in bed thinking about where I was 12 years ago and how the best gift I’ve ever received came at 11:29pm the next evening. 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 4 - Started the day with worship, and our frie Day 4 - Started the day with worship, and our friend’s baptism, at the beach, which was followed by celebration, even by the whales. 
🌊
After the baptisms we picked up surfboards and headed to the waves. It was low tide, so the waves were small, but the girls had a blast and we even got to see more whales.
🌊
Then we headed back to Makena Beach, for some more wave time and found so many chickens! 🐓 8 roosters to be exact ( Malea counted them). 
🌊
Next headed home, and enjoyed wine on the patio, which has been Matt and my afternoon tradition, since we got here. 
🌊
After getting ready for dinner, we did something we used to do, almost every night when we lived here, and watched the sunset from the rock wall, in Kihei across from where we lived. It was so fun getting to experience the magic of the sun setting over the Pacific coast, with my family. 
🌊
After dinner we met up with our friends to talk about the baptism and catch up since we haven’t hung out in awhile. We ended up back at our place, talking late into the night. I am so grateful for how much the Lord has done in all of our lives since we met a few years ago. 
🌊
Tomorrow more surfing and more sun. Maui perfection. 
#MaleaElizabeth @mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer
Day 3 - Started with a 3.4 mile run, with @mmosele Day 3 - Started with a 3.4 mile run, with @mmoseley15, and lots of beautiful views. 
🌊
It was too windy to surf today so instead we headed to Lahaina for lunch (a very messy lunch for my little rib lover) and some shopping.  We scouted out beaches on the way home, and stopped for some fresh fruit at the roadside stand. 
🌊 
Everyone was exhausted but we needed some beach time so we finished up the day with the waves at Wailea beach and another beautiful sunset. 
🌊
Excited because tomorrow we finally surf! 🏄‍♀️ 
#MaleaElizabeth @emilia_boehmer
Day 2- my favorite beach, Makena beach. We used to Day 2- my favorite beach, Makena beach. We used to spend hours, and days here, so it was a dream come true to get to spend hours in the waves and on the beach with Matt and Malea yesterday. It’s as beautiful as I remember it and I was so thankful to be back. 
🌊
After hours of beach time it was a food truck lunch, and time to head into Kihei, my old stomping grounds. We took the girls to the open market where they shopped and shopped, then we ended with shaved ice. 
🌊
The day ended with another beautiful sunset and dinner at MonkeyPod Kitchen, with the best Mai Tais we’ve had and Malea trying to convince Emilia to let her teach her how to cube. 🤣
🌊
Tomorrow we surf. 🤗 🏄‍♀️ 
@mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer #MaleaElizabeth
Day 1 (yesterday)- A few thankful tears were shed Day 1 (yesterday)- A few thankful tears were shed when I finally got to sit down in my plane seat, and a huge sigh of relief that we were finally on our way. 
🌊 
It has been 19 years since I’ve been to Maui and I expected so many changes, which some of it has, but so much is also the same, including places we worked and a few favorite spots. 
🌊
But the best part was getting to be here with my family—watch the girls disappear to find the pool, and the beach, and the smiles on their faces as the realization sunk in that we were actually here!! 
🌊
Today I am thank for @mmoseley15 bringing me back here, beautiful sunsets, the Maui air, and upcoming beach time with my family! 
#MaleaElizabeth @mmoseley15 @emilia_boehmer
Not exactly how I planned to spend my day. 😵‍ Not exactly how I planned to spend my day. 😵‍💫 Thankful for the team at Prestige for sewing the top of my thumb back on. Luckily none of it ended up in the soup. 😬🤣
Saying goodbye (for now), last night, to these bea Saying goodbye (for now), last night, to these beautiful people, was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. The neighbors who showed up with brownies the first time we met them, who became friends, who quickly turned into family—secondary parents to Matt and I,  and grandparents to Malea. 
💛
I have grieved and cried whenever I think about them leaving, for weeks, because I don’t know what it will be like without them. They have always been there for us, supported us, asked us how we are doing, even on our darkest days, and they have loved us and cheered us on, encouraged us to keep going because it will all be worth it in the end. 
💛
I will never hear the end of how terrible it was we decided to move to Palo Cedro and “abandon them”, but that didn’t discourage them from showing up with homemade birthday goodies and driving “all the way to the other side of the river” to stop by and see what we’ve been up to, and encourage us with how well we are living out our dream here on our farmstead. 
💛
I am honored they chose to spend their last night with us (even though technically we were 2nd choice 😉) but it was exactly what I needed. Bev, of course brought gifts that spoke to our hearts, and we reminisced, laughed and I think everyone cried at some point. 
💛
Dear friends I am excited for your new adventure, I can’t wait to hear where we need to go next, I can’t wait to “visit” Europe through your pictures, but please don’t forget to come home, you will be missed!!! 💛💛💛
We worked hard this weekend. 💪🏻 Our amazing We worked hard this weekend. 💪🏻 Our amazing house church showed up and helped us run all the electrical in the back garage—can lights, outlets, fans, exterior lights, etc! We finished so quickly that one couple decided to stay and help us frame out the storage room. 👏🏻
Today Matt and I added the door and a few other things, so now the room is ready for sheetrock! 👊🏻 A weekend of hard work and it ended with a beautiful sunset. Game room should be done in the next couple of months. 🙌🏻
#weekendwarriors #diy
Such a fun weekend away to Mt. Shasta, to celebrat Such a fun weekend away to Mt. Shasta, to celebrate Matt’s birthday. 
I am thankful for the beautiful place we live, friends who are as ridiculous as we are, amazing food, hilarious games, and most importantly my husband—who is definitely with celebrating. 
@mmoseley15 @kah_rhis_10
So this happened. 🏦 I still can’t even beli So this happened. 
🏦 
I still can’t even believe it. I am so thankful to finally be able to talk about this with people, because I am so proud of Matt! 
🏦 
When I first met Matt he told me his dream was to be the president of a bank someday, and here we are, in 6 months he will be. I am so proud of how hard he has worked to get to this place, never taking the easy way, always taking the strategic path, even if it meant taking less pay, a lower title, or doing the work of multiple people to make sure something got done well. 
🏦 
This is a dream come true, a promise of the Lord fulfilled, and I can’t wait to see what this next season holds for us. 
Congratulations Matt, you deserve this, and thank you Jeff, for paving the way, and being such an incredible boss, leader, and mentor for Matt. 
#FaithandFullness #faithfulness
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